30.3.2009 - Monday

He called at 1.50pm, telling me that the 4k i borrowed him, he can only pay me back next week instead of this week. I am ok with it.

And finally he asked me how i feel due the incident happend on last sat nite as he can feels that i was quite upset. (forgot to update that during JC's birthday dinner, there were some bad experience between myself with another friend.) He asked me not to take it too hard.

hmm... well, at least he bother, rite?

28.3.2009 - Saturday

We met at the main lobby of Marina Oriental Hotel. Went up to 5th floor together to meet up the rest for JC's birthday celebration.

He was sitting next to me. During the 2 hours dinner, we didnt talk much to each other like the usual. After the dinner, all of us went to JC's house for a quick drink b4 head to the clubs. We didnt talk much either.

Reached tantric at around 11.45pm, no much conversation. At around 12.40pm , we headed to taboo... we dance, he passed me his drink, indicate me to share the beer with him. But somehow, i feel different. Not able to tell what went wrong, but had a strange feeling.

The clubbing sessions end around 2.45am, and we headed to Maxwell for a quick supper. And we headed home separately.

I suddenly felt so tired... tired over everything. I have been wondering, is there anymore room for us to develop further? do i really want to see him breaking off with G and come to me? What is the exact thing i want from him? Will he ever leave G for me?

26.3.2009 - Thursday

While i just came out from Potong Pasir MRT station, my phone rang... and i saw his name appearred on my screen. it was 1.52pm.

In the phone, he asked me where am i and told me that he is yet to take his lunch, ask whether wanna to meet for lunch. I told him that i am heading to customer's place to pass some documents and do some explaination on some issues. Will end the discussion around 2.30pm. He said ok.. he will wait for me.

Once i am done with my customer at 2.19pm, i called him and he asked to wait for him at the MRT station, he will come and pick me up.

2.25pm, he called again saying that he cant make it as last minute he need to attend a appointment with Pan Pacific. Too bad... we didnt manage to meet up today.

3.43pm, he called again, to confirm the satuday nite dinner's details.

Quite looking forward this saturday's dinner, cos i will get to see him again. :)

24.3.2009 - Tuesday

Ever since last thursday we had our dinner together at Laguna Country Club, we didnt contact each other till today.

ok, in fact, i did give him a call yesterday late after afternoon. But that called not even lasted for 1 mins. I just past a simple message and that was it.

Today around 11.40am. He called. I must admit that i was pretty surprise to receive his call. Seeing his name appear on my phone screen, i was happy.

He asked me out for lunch, but too bad i had a dicussion with my colleague for a project, thus, i told him i can only meet him around 2pm. He asked me to sms him once i am done.

At around 1.43pm, i sms him telling him that i am done. 2.08pm, he called and tell me to wait for him outside my office as he is reaching in 3 mins time. Picked me up and again we head to Laguna Country club for our lunch.

I didnt eat, ordered only a cup of tea, while he order himself a japanese vege salad and a coffee. We sit at the usual table... looking at the same view. We didnt talk much, but we dont feel awkward. We were sitting there, looking at the ppl there playing golf. We chatted abit here and there.

We left the club around 4.37pm. Just went i was about to leave the car, i said "thanks for asking me out for lunch today." a warmed smile on my face. He laughed.

19.3.2009 - Thursday

We are supposed to meet for dinner last nite, but last minute due to something, he postpone the dinner to today.

Never seen him online the whole day... wondering here. He is not working today????

Sms him just now around 4.16pm, asking him whether we r still good for the dinner. He called back and ask to have dinner at Laguna Golf and Country Club. And he told me that he was at Vivocity and just bought a new set of golf set.

He called again at 4.54pm, asking me to check for him whether the driving range at Laguna is open to public. Quickly checked the internet for the phone number and called up immediately. It is open to public, but closed for a week now for renovation. Called him back and delivered the message to him.

At 5.59pm, sms him again, telling him that i am almost done and ask him to sms or miss call me when he is about to reach so that i can wait for him outside my office. No reply from him till now...

17.3.2009 - Tuesday

He called at around 12.31pm, asking whether am i free to meet up for a cup of coffee around 2.00pm. Of cos i agreed. In fact, i do know why he want to ask me out for coffee, cos he can sense that i am trouble with my issues.

so, he picked up at 2.04pm, we went to a golf country club nearby my office. He ordered a coffee and i had my lunch. After i done with my meal, he finally voice up and ask me to share with him what are the problems that i am facing and he was so sweet to listen and help me to do and analysis and giving me some good advises.

One by one i shared with him, but till the last one, which i was pretty not sure whether to sharewith him or not. Soon, we decided to leave the coffee house and head back to our own office respectively.

While we were on the way to my office, i was still struggling so hard and finally i decided to tell him what was last worry.

Me: In fact, there is still one more worry i have now... i think, and i suspect i am falling in love...
B: With who?
Me: Hmm....
B: Who is that??
Me: The one who is sitting next to me now...
B: Hah...

Then he looked at me, but i still keepingmy eyesight straight and i am so scare to have an eye contact with him.

And we reached my office, so, i got down the car and say bye to him. And he headed back to his own office.

About 15 mins later, he was on msn and i text him again.

Me says: any idea what should i do pertaining to the last worry i mentioned to u in the car just now?
B says: hah
Bin says: difficult lehh
Me says: yah.. i know
B says: it is difficult question.
Me says: that is why i have been keeping it
Me ays: thinking whether to share with u or not
Me ys: nd it took me alot, alot and alot of courage to tell u that
B says: take it easy first
B says: now we need to concentrate to the business first

We paused and i dont know how to continue...

16.3.2009 - Monday

Today while i was msn with B:

B says: btw, i think the message that you sent to me G saw it.
Me says: what message?
Me says: which one?
B says: The good night messages
Me says: last nite that one?
B says: He is suspecting
Me says: oh shit
B says: it is ok
Me says: i didnt know he was with u last nite
B says: don't take it seriously
Me says: but it was just a normal sms rite?
B says: yeah
Me says: u just tell him on and off i will send such sms to many ppl loh
ME says: even to chong and tony they all
B says: but he sense it already. He actually mentioned to me on Sat night already
Me says: sat nite?
B says: He said that .
Me says: sat nite nothing happen rite?
Me says: i didnt talk much on sat nite wor
B says: He said it is quite obevious
Me says: obvious of what?
Me says: i didnt do anything at all
B says: It is ok .
B says: don't complicated the case
Me says: i m trying to recall, but i remember very well that i didnt talk much on sat nite.
Me says: did he see the present i gave u...
Me says: if he saw
B says: no
Me says: just say is from all of us.. me, tony, chong and jacob
Me says: did he making alot of noise on that?
B says: it is not important now
B says: don't have to worry
Me says: i am worry....
B says: he just expressed his feeling
Me says: oh....
Me says: meaning he suspect that i like u
B says: that is all
B says: yes
Me says: did he suspect that u like me too?
B says: no
Me says: ok... then i think is not so bad, rite?
Me says: so its better that i contact u less?
B says: as usual will do
B says: We did nothing much right
B says: it is ok

What should i do now?

14/3/2009 - Saturday

We didnt contact much the whole day till around 5 plus when i sms him asking whther he is interested to join me and my gangs for dinner. And he agreed.

We went to COCA - Takashimaya for steamboat dinner. The moment i saw him came in with G, i was pretty not happy. Cos G was wearing B's shirt! The shirt where i choosed for B during our last KL trip. Thus, i didnt talk much during the dinner and B can sensed that something is right about me.

After the dinner, we went for coffee at coffee club. Again, i also didnt talk much. The session end around 11.45pm. Just when we about to go separate way, he gave me a look, a look that tells me to take care. i can feel it!

13/3/2009 - Friday

Today is B's birthday... we decided to go for seafood dinner at no signboard - esplanade. Rite after the dinner, some of my friends suggest to go for th e Lah Mardi Gras at St James Power House. Frankly speaking, i really dont feel like going, but becos of B keep asking me to join, so, i went with them. (by the way, B's bf- G was with us too... :( )

When we reached St james, CH and G went down first to purchase the ticket whereby i accompany B to park the car at Vivo. When we parked the car, i passed him the present and ask him to open up. He likes it! :)

During the clubbing time, we did hug each other many times and also we do hold each other's hand, of cos that was when G is not around. I even gave him a kiss, a very light kiss onto his mouth. We dance till around 4am and decided to head home.

8/3/2009 - Sunday

Finally he is back.

Went to Changi T3 to pick him up around 10.00pm. He came out at around 10.25pm. Saw him walking out from the gateway, give him a warm smile and a hug. While on the way to the carpark, surprising we both didnt talk much. To me, he seems very trouble. I believed there is still alot of stuffs leaving unsolve.

On the way from the airport to my place, we chatted abit. He told me that his business is not doing very well. i am getting more and more worried for him. But nothing much i can do, but just asked him to relax abit and take a step at a time.

While we were in the topic of a relationship of our friends, he gave a statement that lead me to wodner - "why are they able to break off so easily whereby it is so difficult for him?"

What is he trying to say? Meaning that he wanted to break off with his BF, but always end up still being together till now? Or was he trying to tell met that it is impossible for him to break off with his current bf and be with me? i really wonder...

Soon reached my place, so, i got down from the driver seat and he move forward from his front seat toward the driver seat. When he walked over, he GAVE me a HUG! A hug that i never expect. It was a very warm one. Deep in my heart, i do really hope that we can hug each other just like that forever....

4.3.2009 - Wednesday

He supposed to be back by tonite... but during out chatting in msn yesterday, he told me that he postpone again. sigh....

He postpone his flight to this coming sunday. Hope he wont change his flight again.

1.3.2009 - Sunday

Received a call from him this afternoon...

When my phone rings, it appear as "unknown", thus i had totally no idea who was calling me.

The moment i answered the phone, immediately asking how am i... and i was blurred. i asked him back by "you are...?"

"its me, B..."

oh my god... i actually cannot recognise his voice? what a shame on me! ha ha ha...

Well, i think one of the reason i cant recognise is becos during he called, i was at the mall, and was pretty noisy, thus, i am not able to hear clearly.

The reason he called was to inform me that he is not able to make it back to sg this evening... which i suppose to pick him up from the airport. He jas postpone his flight to wednesday.

the sweetest part during the phone call was he still remember i was sick, and he was checking how am i feeling now? getting better? and also what is the actual caused?

but during that time, i was with my housemates and it was pretty noisy there, thus i didnt talk to him for long and we put down the phone within a few mins.

kind of missing him...

28.2.2009 - Saturday

i was in town this afternoon... doing some window shopping, trying to get some idea what to get for him for his coming birthday. After been thinking for a few days, i thought getting him a belt is a good choice.

so, when i reached taka, without any hesitatant, i went to mont blanc, dunhil, hugo boss, zegna, ferragomo and etc to check out the model. (and also the price). Luckily most of the one i saw fit into my budget... but i didnt buy any of them.

Cos during my shopping, my friends came to meet me and accompany me. Most of them feels that i should not "invest" so much. They think that i am spending too much on him... in fact, deep in my heart, as long he like the present, the money is not really an issue to me, but of cos is something that i can afford. another reason is that becos he is "loaning" me his car for FOC, thus, maybe buying some presents for him is kind of a way for me to "return" him.

anyway, i am yet to decide what to buy as still got another 2 weeks time.